I haven’t blogged in awhile.  Times that I attempt to type something out, a distraction is never far.  I hope I make it to the end on this entry.

The other night, on Hurricane Katrina’s one year anniversary, I was watching a Brian Williams documentary.  They went back in time, showing photos that were *supposedly* never aired before.  It was horrible.  I don’t know where I was or what I was doing (a year ago) that I didn’t pay half as much attention as I did the other night.  One baby was so dehydrated that she wouldn’t even wake up — and she was drenched in sweat… naked!  Yet another man was on the sidewalk having a seizure as people around him yelled for him to hang on to life.  My god.  I regret saying this, but what did I ever do to help those people in New Orleans?  I can’t speak for anyone else but I know I’m not alone in saying that I did nothing to contribute, donate or alleviate those people’s sufferings.  Not even one penny!  What really bites me is, what if that was my baby on national television, on the verge of death because no one has the heart or the hearing to send over some water?  But oh well, right?  What’s done is done.  I must be that selfish and self-centered to have just turned away and do nothing to help those who were suffering.  Better yet, blame it on Bush.  There you go.  So much for the American Dream.  Anyways. 

I was practically skipping out the door the other day when I was using a sample of this cool perfume I chanced upon at Sephora during the weekend.  It’s called Kenzo something.  I was so disappointed when I looked onto the Sephora website only to find several Kenzo perfumes.  Gash.  And I thought maybe I’d be able to recognize the bottle — nope!  But whatever it is, I just love it.  Love love LOVE it.  I can’t remember the last time I ever wore perfume (what with handling Erynne as a baby and all) but now that she’s practically independent and no longer all over me, I feel like I can go back to discovering perfumes.  Imagine, my last perfume was Romance by Ralph Lauren.  So ancient!  Honest, after I doused myself in “Kenzo,” I literally skipped out the door.  I felt so clean, so fresh, so light.. so airy.. and beautiful!  It totally matched the beautiful California weather.  You’re right, I must not get out much — getting all riled up over a darn perfume.  LOL.  You have to understand, after giving birth/Erynne, shoes/bags/clothes (which don’t fit like before so it’s not really fun shopping right now) took a backseat.  One time at a shoe sale last year, I was eyeing these funky (white) leopard print heels that were soooooo comfortable (and pointy!) and though I knew I had no reason to buy it considering my work (at home), Eric goes, “yah, you should get those.. they’d look good on you while breastfeeding.”  I laughed so hard!  But it’s true, ya know?  What do I need bags and shoes and clothes for?  At least right now, that is.  Haaayy, I don’t know.  I’m so suburb-y now — and I actually quite love it.  Still, though.. simple pleasures like samples from Sephora get me going .  (I tried to deny it.. but yes, shoes/bags and clothes still get me going!).

Erynne has a cold.  I believe this is her 4th day and I just hate it.  I despise life when she’s sick or not at her best.  Why couldn’t I just get her colds?  She’s still playful but how would I really know what she’s feeling inside?  Sigh.  I hope she gets better soon.  Though despite the fact she has a cold, she’s still the devoted pasyadora, always up and ready to get out of the door.  My dad always says she takes after me.  So I like to be out, who wants to stay at home all day?

I haven’t worked out for 3 days.  My sister has been with us since Friday and oh boy, let me just tell you, we’ve been eating so much food, it’s not even funny.  It’s so out of control.  To say I need to get into the gym tomorrow is an understatement.  Haaaay.  The four inches I lost off my waist has probably found its way back home.  Grr.  Can I strangle you?  LOL.

It’s Friday tomorrow.  Wherever did this week go?!  3 more days, adieu adieu to my 20′s — HALA!

September is coming up.. before I know it, it’s December and we’re on a plane heading for Manila.  So much to do before then.  However, I feel absolutely frozen - my mind’s eye already has this extensive list for the things I need to do but I simply do not know where to start.  Am I really that behind?  Allow me..

1. Song list for the band – I saw one bride’s organized list of songs, such a big help to me (hi Kaye!) as I now know how to list the songs we’d like to be played throughout the whole celebration (church to reception).  At first I was quite bothered when my coordinator advised she would be meeting with the band (without me!) in October to finalize the song list.  Every possible thing that could go wrong, I was already anticipating.  I wish I could be there so as to avoid any surprises.  Oh well, I’ll let go..

2.  Entourage gowns – still don’t have sketches and I still don’t have measurements.  I don’t know that I should be too worried over this.  I have faith everything will turn out just fine.  It’s not even September!  LOL.

3.  Cake – design?  Must we have one?  I think we’ll just choose from the designs Alex has.

4.  Caterer – I can’t remember the last time I looked at our contract.  I don’t know when our next payment is due, nor do I have the specifics on our final cost per head.  Might have to rethink the menu as we did book them way back 2004 ~ there might be yummier dishes to date.

5.  My weight loss – a forever struggle.  I’m almost at the point where I’m just going to let go and let God.  LOL.  So I won’t watch our wedding video if I’m too fat, so what.  There are worse things in life.  The more the merrier!

6.  Tickets – have you seen the current prices for travel?  Holy shites.  Not only do they want your arm and leg, throw in a head why don’t you!  Geez.  I’ve been looking at prices online every single day… slowly going down, for some odd reason.  I’ve yet to look into a travel agent for even cheaper prices. 

7.  Accomodation – I’m on craigslist every day, just hoping there is a short-term 2 bdrm condo available for our times of travel.  We’re travelling with Erynne so I just want her to be as comfortable as possible (well, me too.. I’m maarts like that ) so I’m also looking into hotel accomodation though I’m thinking that would come out to be a little more expensive.  At least with a short-term condo rental, we can cook and not have to eat out so much (yah right!).  I have a few prospects already but I won’t be booking anything just yet.  Still looking..

8.  Groom’s attire – still don’t know where we’re going to get Eric’s stuff for the wedding.  Is it going to be a suit or a barong?  Barong, I would think, would be cheaper but I could be wrong on this.  Hm.  If we did the suit, then the rest of the male abays would have to rent our suits unless they already own a nice one.  More expensive. 

9.  Finalization of entourage – still don’t have this completely finalized either.  Originally did not want to include secondary sponsors (to save on costs heeee!) and my MOH’s and bridesmaid would take care of the role but I’m thinking it might be nice to have the SS altogether. 

10.  Guest list – work in progess.  150 was our max.  We’re currently at less than 200.  Not good.

11.  Invites – have a supplier in mind but nothing discussed, much less finalized.  I don’t believe my coordinator is happy with our choice but I don’t want to splurge on a piece of paper that our guests are going to throw away, ya know? 

12.  Florist/Event Stylist – looking at prices and still trying to revise to come up with better quotes (read: cheap as possible).  Waiting for word on our coordinator for other suppliers that might deliver at a lower price without compromising quality.  Flowers are flowers.  I’m more particular with presentation and (loud) colors at the reception.  But flowers for entourage and myself?  Same attitude with the invites – I don’t want to splurge on flowers that are going straight to the garbage after all has been said and done.  We’ll see.

13.  Prenups – we get a free signature book or whatever you call those books that guests sign during the reception so we have prenups sked for January 2, 2007.  2 days before the wedding.  Think we’ll be stressed?  December 26th was our other choice… but that would entail being in Manila for Xmas.  And for those who come from the States and are in Manila during Xmas, we all know how expensive that is .

I know there’s more… but I’ll continue later.  Gym time.

I can’t believe I will soon be *gasp* 30 years old.  I certainly can’t ask, “Where did the time go?” cuz trust me, I know exactly where those years went.  The thing that comes to my mind this very second as I type this is, if you had asked me what I would want to do for my 30th birthday 3 years ago, I would have probably told you, “Get shit faced and sail on a cruise as I dance the night away.”  Gad, that sounds so juvenile (to me) right about now.  The last time I had alcohol was with Eric and his friends back in Tanay; the last time I was on a cruise was a few years ago and the last time I danced the night away?  Um.. when I was living the single life back in Seattle?  Honestly, at this point, I cannot even fathom the idea of walking into a club.  I don’t know if it’s because I’m a mom now or if I’m just altogether past that stage in my life but it amazes me just how much I’ve embraced this whole new role of mine.  My daughter and husband really are the center of my life.  I have to admit there are times I think back about all the freedom (and space!) I had when I was single and living alone but I wouldn’t even want to dare going back to all that.  There have been a few females in my life who have dreaded the big 3-0.  Not this mama.  Imagine what turning 40 will be like?

and I’m gonna get in trouble… hey now, hey now, my boyfriend’s back!

Well, not my boyfriend anymore but I will get in trouble if I don’t clean up and remove evidence of a tsunami hitting our home .  The husband is back this evening from a week of training in LA.  Yayyy, I don’t have to sleep alone anymore (and to think I used to huff and puff to myself about having to share a bed with someone hehe) and I won’t have to be so freaked out everytime I so much as hear noise outside of the bedroom.  And it’s funny how Eric’s been gone for a whole week but with the amount of time we spend on the phone, you’d think he was just down the street or something.  I guess it’s cute ~ afterall, this was our very first time to be apart.  We did okay… thank God for Cingular’s family plan . 

Ok, this is for you Alex: YOUR COMMENT IS NOT HELPING ME!!!!!!!  LOL.

I was a fool to think I could stop eating rice altogether.  What the hell was I thinking?  After close to a 30 year relationship, I was going to eliminate rice right then and there — YEAH RIGHT BIG GIRL!!!!!!!!  Craziness.  HAY.

So how am I doing?  NOT GOOD.  I know now I can’t do this cold turkey .  Let me say this.. I try my best not to eat rice for dinner.  BWAHAHAHAHAHA.

I no longer eat rice in massive heaps.  Oh how it pains me so. 

Damn, brown rice.  Bought some a few months ago.  Still unopened .  Garlic rice with tocino or longganisa and eggs.  I’d better just go the gym at the rate my mind is travelling hahahhaha. 

Why is rice so awesome?  GRRRRR.

Any Spam with rice eaters out there? 

As some of you might know, I’ve been working out quite a bit.. more than I’ve done so in the past year and a half since Erynne was born.  The last time Eric and I were trying to lose weight (badminton did wonders on us!), we got pregnant.  From that pregnancy came many, many, many unwanted pounds.  Last Tuesday marked my 4th week of exercising but sad to say, the results have not been that impressive.  Sure, my clothes are fitting better and my muscles are feeling tighter but this past week, I think I’ve put on some weight cuz I can just feel myself getting wider.  Go figure, what with that scrumptious burger I had at In ‘N’ Out the other day and the oh-so-massive-heaps of rice I’ve been consuming…. haaaaaaayyyy.  There are days I take steps forward…. but later on in the week, I’m taking double the steps backwards.  The battles, the battles, the battles!

So what am I going to do?  As Emeril Lagasse would say, I’m taking it up another notch.  I’m giving up rice.  Oh yes.  And this is huge guys.  Major.  Life-altering.  OMG wow.  If you don’t know this yet about me, I live for rice.  There’s not a day that goes by in my life that I don’t eat rice.  Almost like (though this might already come across as an exaggeration but funny nonetheless) if our home was on fire, you might see me saving the rice cooker when others might probably save their dog, photo albums, etc.  LOL.  Or.. better yet, how’s this:  rice is to me what sugar is to a diabetic, cocaine to a cocaine user/addict, or alcohol to an alcoholic.  Hmm.. okay, well maybe that’s going too far and probably not even necessary to say, but you get the idea.  All I know is, rice is life.  LOL.

So here goes to better eating habits.  One day at a time. 

No, not with food.  I have a cold.  And it doesn’t feel good.  Thank God for Sudafed.  Su-su-su-dafed (sing it to the tune of that Phil Collins song.. is he saying su-su-sudio?).  I think when I went to the gym yesterday morning, I got worse cuz by evening, I was literally stuffed up and sneezing like you wouldn’t believe.  So today I held off (but I was just aching to work out!) and will probably hold off til Friday cuz.. well, what’s the point of pumping them arms and legs if I’ll only get worse in the end?  Then I’d really be out of the gym forever.  And God knows Cecil wouldn’t want that ~ I had another “funny” conversation with her the other day and this time, she didn’t just ask me to lose weight; I think she pretty much demanded it.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  But she’s so justified.  I mean, come on… can you imagine?  It’s like wearing a shirt that says “BEBE” on the front but if I were to put it on, it’d spell “BBBBEEEEEBBBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEE” instead.  So in the end, I told her that if I didn’t at least drop 45 pounds (I’ve lost 5 so far!) by January, I’d buy HER a gown .  I think she got a good laugh out of it.

For the first time in 4 years, I went for a  job interview — this time, with an airline company.  Why an airline company (and no, I did not apply as a flight attendant DUH!  You want the plane to fall straight to the ground upon take-off?!)?  Because of the excellent travel benefits (I love travelling.. especially last minute) and because it was only a part-time position (I’d still get to be with Erynne most of the day).  So it was a perfect set-up.  Or so I thought.  Training would have been a total of 3 weeks away from home (ouch!  How would I survive without Erynne?  More importantly, how would Erynne survive without me? Hu hu hu).  Well, in the end, out of the 50 or so applicants yesterday (we had group interviews for a good 4 hours), I wasn’t a part of the 10 or so chosen applicants to stay behind for one-on-one interviews.  I honestly didn’t feel sad, but at the same time, I wasn’t necessarily jumping up for joy.  I thought, oh well, it just wasn’t meant to be at this point in my life.  Enrico, on the other hand, was super bummed cuz he too, had applied for the same position 2 weeks prior and also was not chosen.  We had been so excited just thinking of the prospects of flying all over the United States, etc etc etc.  But it just wasn’t meant for us (mother effers! Hahahaha!). 

So this afternoon, Enrico had an interview with a different airline (and this is funny because this interview was just set up an hour after my group interview session with the other airline… God works in awesome ways eh?).  This airline that Enrico interviewed with has actually better (and MORE!) destinations than the other one we both interviewed for (and were denied hehehe).  Honest, the difference has got to be close to 200 destinations if not more (domestic and international at that).  Imagine that?  Well, as you might have already guessed from the title of this entry, yes, he was indeed hired .  We get to travel the world!!!!!!!  Can life (for me) get any better?

It’s unbelievable how God is so good to me…. how things really do always, always happen for a reason…. and how I just can’t decide where our first trip (of many, trust me on this!) will be. 

This cellulite queen is happy!

I don’t know why I didn’t post this before but I still remember the conversation I had with Cecilio Abad (who will be altering my gown and creating gowns for my entourage). It’s really very funny, if you ask me ~ though, if I wasn’t used to how Filipinos have this natural ability to express themselves with such honesty (aka lack of shame?) , I would have been pissed. LOL.

jen: oh! let me show you my gown

jen: tell me what you think..

cecil: sige.

jen: excuse my face and hair and my NO NECK look

jen: i just woke up in the pictures

cecil: Jen nakita ko na siya..

cecil: Bakit ganun ka kataba..

jen: i gained 60 lbs from my pregnancy.

cecil: God…….ganun ba… ineng mag exercise ka…

jen: hahahaha, my husband says he hopes you don’t change ur mind on the price!!!

cecil: Para ngang dapat mag dagdag ka sa price na binigay ko sayo…kasi major alteration ito.

cecil: neng diko ma imagine na ganun ka tumaba..

cecil: Ano vang pinaka in ng asawa mo sa iyo?hehehe

jen: isn’t that crazy?! from the picture you see and then to the one with me in mygown? my gad. nightmare!

cecil: diko nga makilala eh..kala ko ibang tao ung naka bridal gown.

jen: but i’m fighting my demons now hahahhahaa

cecil: bweheheheheheee….parang kasing magkapatid tau sa taba.

jen: HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!

cecil: so ok na tau….bababa un pag talagang bumalik ka sa dati mong anyo.

cecil: hehehehe….

Had it been another designer, I would have been all, “And you? Why are the designs you create almost the same from bride to bride? Having a hard time sketching?” Or how about this for lack of shame, “If you have so many clients and money, you’d think you can get a better internet connection so you can answer your emails efficiently.” LOL.

Gash, am I sourgraping? Absolutely not. Just being evil .