My daughter loves, loves, LOVES them.  I’ve been playing “Don’t cha” and “Buttons” so much today.  And when she hears those songs, she acts like it’s her first time hearing it and she gets all excited.  CUTE!  She even has facial expressions and hand gestures when she dances.  Wow.  We have a dancer on our hands folks.  (One time, she was sitting in her car seat and they played on the radio while we were out driving.  She started flailing her arms up and about.. when the song ended, she started screaming and crying, demanding “dance!  dance!  dance!”  What a nightmare.)

While everyone focuses in on American Idol on Tuesday nights (is it?), we’re watching the Pussycat Dolls search for a new Doll, can you believe it?

I love dancing.  Of course, seeing a big mama shake it doesn’t look too nice but I didn’t always have so much luggage with me before, LOL.  Aaaahhhh, such good times when you’re younger no?  You do remember, DON’T CHA?   Hahahaha, corny!

Oh well, shake it bebe!

I will be honest.  Notice how there was a big gap in my blogging.. and then all of a sudden, I’ve been blogging almost everyday?  PAYPERPOST!  Yep.  I’m fascinated with the idea that I can stay at home and actually make some money sitting on my ass.  H o w e v e r, because of that goddang huge gap of no blogging from November to February, I was denied last month.  Loser!

So now I have to wait 90 days, I think and I have to make sure 30+ don’t pass again where I haven’t blogged a thing.  I’m so irked because there are so many easy topics to blog about!  You’d have to be mentally retarded not to make money off of payperpost, it’s that ridiculous. 

Crap.  I’d like to just smash someone’s face into a dashboard right about now.

 I bloghopped to Jean’s blog and found this

Take the list below, paste it into your own blog, and mark them as follows:
READ for those you’ve read;
WANT TO next to those you are interested in;
AGAIN & AGAIN next to those you’ve read and loved, over and over;
REPEAT for those you’ve read more than once, without necessarily loving them;
MEH for stuff you read and weren’t impressed by;
STARTED for those that just never got finished;
and leave blank those you don’t care to read.

–*i’m adding an ABOUT TO for those that are in my shelf, waiting to be devoured.

For someone who studied English literature in college, doesn’t seem like I’ve read much, eh?  I may not seem (or act) like the type who appreciates books but I do.  My love for books started as early as 3rd grade.  By 4th grade, I was already writing short stories.  By junior high, 1984 was the greatest book ever for me (but don’t forget To Kill a Mockingbird!).  And even before I entered college, I was writing full 13-page essays with a passion (one of which I own an award for).  So it was without a doubt that I’d enter college doing only what I love best: reading and writing.

*Cackle*.  And then I dropped out before graduation.  Lovely hahahahaa. 

She could have done my chores.  All day.  All of them.

And yes, while I may be complaining just a little bit, I’m still considerate of those moms who work full-time jobs here in America and still do all the chores around the home.  Hats off to them, you superwomen yous.  That is tough shit.

I have so much to learn.

I don’t know what it is, but I’ve been really tired all weekend. Well, no, actually for a few days now. I get my 8 hours of sleep (sometimes less but still more than 6) and you’d think I’d be bouncing off the walls (I used to live off of 4-5 hours and I was totally fine). So now that I’m actually getting some good rest, I don’t understand how I’m so sleepy during the day. I don’t take naps since Erynne makes too much noise and I don’t take naps with her cuz I’m usually surfing the net (“my time”). This is strange.

So strange that my mind is seeing things now. I was in Colma on Friday. Sitting in the car when some girl appears with her aunt (or mom?) and they’d both just come out of Old Navy (apparent from the big shopping bag). Skinny girl, pony tail, no makeup, skinny jeans rolled up, yellow flats, definitely Asian, nice LV bag and her aunt/mom has that important look to her (very kontrabida-ish.. first glance, I could swear she used to be an actress in the Philippines). Aunt opens the door for the girl to get into the back. I thought, wow, she can carry a big ass shopping bag but she needs someone to open her door? Sosyal. I continue to stare as they drive by me and this time, I got an even better glance of the girl in the back. Phoemela Barranda. Or perhaps just her lookalike (Old Navy???? Surely she has better taste than that!).

Oh well.

Growing up, I was always told we didn’t have money.  How is that possible if we have a home, cars, vacations every year and nice clothes?  Not to mention, my mom’s jewelries?  Duh.

Ever since I could remember, my mom always worked 2 jobs.  Maybe we really don’t have money, I thought.  But later, I realized her 2nd job was really for her neices and nephews back in the Philippines so that they could go to college.  Fine, I have no problem with that.  I love my family back home.  But did she really have to work so much?  We’re talking pesos here.

A kid needs their mom.  Period.  Yah, okay, maybe I wanted to come home once a week and smell cookies baking in the oven.  And yah, maybe I wanted my own mom to pick me up afterschool and have my snack ready on the table (I’m talking elementary here people).  But no.  For my mother’s time, I was given money.  The more she gave, the more she loved me.  Sucks, doesn’t it?

As a result of this type of upbringing, I have no respect for money.  And it’s funny because I’ve bought a few financial books of my own (Suze Orman is my favorite).. yet I realize I will never get to really apply what I read if I don’t respect money a little more.  I don’t know how to save.  I don’t know how to budget (or do I, but I just don’t want to?).  I’d rather spend.  Money hurt me SO much in the past.  It came with so many lies.  I was raised to believe we had no money… yet I was granted trips to PI like you wouldn’t believe.  Anything I asked, I got — I never had to ask twice.  And for awhile back in junior high (everyday!), I’d demand for a new top to wear to school (yes, of course it was granted).  I pushed buttons and it still didn’t work.  What am I now?  A brat.  No more, no less.  You tell me we have no money, fine.  I’ll waste whatever we have.  But heh!  How could I waste whatever we had when, in fact, there was enough to go around?  And I’m not saying this to boast or brag, God no.  

I always say I miss working.  The interaction.  The clothes.  The shoes.  The.. the.. just being out there, period!  But, as a result of how I grew up, history will never, ever repeat itself.  That explains me being a stay at home mom.  Even before I’d met Eric, I already made a promise to stay at home to raise my babies.  Material possessions can only go so far.  And never mind that we’ll be poor… so long as I’m at home with my babies.  Maybe that’s a sick way to think *shrugs* but I am what I am.  I will be there for Erynne.

How’s that for someone having issues?  Hahahhaha.  Shit, who cares.  We all do!

So remember that post I made about skinny being out and fat being in?  Weeeellllllllllllllllllll, Cecil said he was going to use my photo for next year’s WeddingsatWork primer book.  Wow!  Can you imagine?  Half a page.  Hello, I’m major pintasera myself.. so to see a fat girl being advertised in, no less, a Pinoy directory of wedding suppliers, you’d think this would be bad cuz um, yah, a country where almost every bride-to-be looks like they border on a size 0 or 2 — hala!  But didn’t I say (or perhaps I was thinking aloud) that a really good designer is one that can actually do wonders on a big girl like myself?  Well, whatever the case, this is going to be interesting.  Go fat girl, go!  *insert cackle here*

Maybe I should consider a career as a Lane Bryant model.  LOL! 

Cellulitic bliss — it’s true .

Hehe, yayy, *clap clap*, Eric got a job! They asked him for an interview this morning (when on Friday, they declared it was his), so we weren’t sure where that was going, but I guess it was just a formality interview because it was the first time the company had met him and well, they probably wanted to make sure it was a right fit. I don’t know what it is, but finding employment in the bay area is tough stuff. Even I know Seattle isn’t this bad. That’s why Eric had to resort to going to a temp/hiring agency to land something. And it worked!

I’m so happy for him… for us… now I can plan more vacations (and shopping!). LOL.

Erynne is now officially 2 years old . My little girl is growing up so fast. Pretty soon, she won’t let me smother her with hugs and kisses.  Maybe it’s time to start on that next baby .

Today is a good day

1.  Enrico might finally have a job this week  

2.  My cousin Annalyn came into town on Friday.  She’s from Vegas.

3.  I got a walk-in appointment at my salon!!!  Not just for myself, but for Anna as well.  I CUT OFF ALL MY HAIR!  I’M A PUNK MOM — AND I LOVE IT!  Not the punk part, but this is the Jen I know =  short, messy and funky hair.  It feel so f****** good to be back!!!!!!!!!!!

4.  Erynne’s birthday is tomorrow.  We’ve been celebrating all weekend .

5. Awesome, greasy breakfast at Millbrae Pancake House!!  It’s so greasy you walk out and you take the smell with you.  Think of the calories = YUMMY!  Reminds me of our resto in Alaska.  We’re making this place tradition .

 Pictures soon!

Phones are off.  Barney isn’t blaring from the family room, Dora’s not talking in Spanish in Erynne’s room and Erynne isn’t running around, incessantly reminding me that she wants a “pop” (lollipop) from the store with the money she’s saved in her piggy bank.  I’m not having to pick up blocks of toys or prepare a meal or do the dishes.  I AM DOING NOTHING.  Enrico took Erynne on his errands.  HEAVEN.

I can’t remember when I last experienced this quiet bliss.  It feels sooooo good.  Too good.  Never mind the house is upside down, I’ll deal with the mess later.  You know that feeling when you’re one with nature and you just marvel at how beautiful everything is around you because you’re so at peace with yourself?  Call it funny, but that’s how I’m feeling right now.  I’m so “happy.”

Shallow, isn’t it?